#GIRLBOSS by Sophia Amorusso

As a final year medical student, I don't have major exams. All we need to do is to get good PIAs ( Pre-Intern Appraisals) to pass every posting/rotation. This gives me plenty of time to ponder about where I am in my life.

After being diagnosed with failure-phobia ( which I will further discuss in subsequent postings when I have the commitment), I resort to reading motivational books. And my choice was #GIRLBOSS by Sophia Amoruso

Ignore my fluffy hairy legs as I have not waxed my legs for ages.

I highly recommend this book and there are some points in this book I need to reiterate in my life if I want to be a happier and more content person.

1. You'll appreciate your amazing career so much more when you look back  at your not-so-amazing  jobs in the past, and hopefully realise that you learned something from all of them.

well, I have not worked much except for being an english tutor for a few months and I figure helping around with ward work in the hospital does not fall under working too. However, the caveat here is, whatever bad crap that happened to me in the past happened so that I can appreciate the prospective good times. This includes the previous bad relationships.

2. When your goal is to gain experience, perspective and knowledge, failure is no longer a possibility. Failure is your invention.

When my mom told me that she does not agree with the idea of me working in Australia for my internship, I felt that my whole world shattered because I associate this with not being able to become a famous paediatrician which is equivalent to being a loser ( it still feels this way and I find myself crying every now and then ). Nevertheless, this quote helps me to feel better about my situation. Doing internship in Indonesia means I will gain more experience about other things that Australia is not able to offer ( you cannot do some procedures i.e lumbar puncture and pleural tap as an intern in Australia ) and I can offer the knowledge I have obtained from my rotation in Australia to the table. My goal is to gain MORE experience, perspective and knowledge to what I have hitherto learned. ( GREED IS GOOD)

3. Instead of spending my time trolling the forums and obsessing about what other sellers were doing, I focused on making my store as unique as possible.

HOLY COW. This should be my new mantra. I spend excessive amount of time obsessing about my acquaintances back home have achieved when I could have utilised the time, effort and money for my own betterment. I could have worked out so that I don't have to be jealous about their body. I could have studied so that when I bump into them, I don't have to feel inferior about my knowledge. I could have read more books. HECK, I COULD AND SHOULD HAVE SPENT MORE TIME ON THIS BLOG.

I highly recommend this book. And I figured, as a generation Y, we are just too bloody impatient. We want things fast. Hence, you see all the fast food and crazy diet pills being rampant. There are more points that I have learned from this book but I am not going to list all of them here as I don't want to get sued by her and I feel reading the book itself would offer the most substantial amount of benefits for those lost souls just like me.

I am still lost. I am still figuring out my way. But this book made me realise that this is not the end of the world. 

Finishing medical school is not the end. It is merely the beginning. 

M and J

I am sorry for the blog hiatus because there have been so many things going on.

so for a quick update....

1. I am currently in my final year of medicine! *woot woot*

2. I am in Melbourne now and loving it! would love to be able to get a job here

3. I broke up with J :)


So...about the break-up...it was nasty and messy.

A lot of yelling and cursing.

Not something you would expect from a 28 years old but then again, who knew right? That's why roses have thorns.

for those who have been reading my blog through out the years ( which is so unlikely given the repeated hiatus), you guys are aware of how I always got entangled in shitty relationships that affected me and left me in this emotional mess.

But this break up made me realise and opened my eyes. I learned a lot about myself and the importance of friendship. I would not go through the same break up again but I am thankful for the more mature person I have become after the break up.

I will give you updates about life in Melbourne in the upcoming posts.

Till then, ciao lovelies. 

exam stress and blog hiatus :(

Things that I cannot live without. My wallet, power bank, ysl lip stain and clarins blue orchid oil for my super dry face. And a durable bag ( longchamp le pliage!) to stuff everything in and 10 textbooks + lab coat + stethoscope.

Doesn't this cute seal pup make your day instantly better? :)

I am extremely sorry for my blog hiatus. :( medical school has been like super duper crazy with assignments and logbooks to fill. and exam is in a week!

I hope I can pass and move on to my final year!

wish me luck guys! 

xx

September goals

i cannot believe that it is september already. 10 more weeks to final exam and i will be going to the labour room starting next week, delivering babies!

it is going to be a roller coaster from here but i will try my best to not disappoint myself.

i am planning to:
1. stay healthy! nothing is worst than getting sick when exam is nearing. i am going to drink hot lemon honey every morning and get my workout done.
2. study efficiently and smartly. gonna try covering most of the GP topics in this month and start revising all the internal medicine and general surgery topics
3. save money. if i am going to buy myself a fancy watch by next year as i have been repeatedly telling myself, i better start saving money seriously from now on as those watches are costly as hell though i am getting the cheapest option.
4. throw away unwanted stuffs and put unnecessary things in a box. the least thing i need is a mess in my room when my mind is a mess due to exam stress.

Life in pics + may goals!

i did my third piercing on my right earlobe. hopefully this one will not get infected like the last one *crossing my fingers*

had coffee at acme bar and coffee at troika in KL. it was good and had a great time catching up with danisha :)

on the side note, I AM EXTREMELY BROKE. thanks to all the shopping i did while i was in KL. i spent a lot on food *DUH* and clothing. well, i bought a long dress for my cousin's wedding from karen millen *justifiable purchase in my opinion, especially since it was on sale!* and a boxy top from shopbop.

following the blogs i follow, i think it will be good to share some goals on my blog and revisit them every month. this month i shall:

1. study consistently

i want to really master my psychiatric knowledge since it is very interesting. i will make it a point to study on the weekends ( 2 hours of studying the clinical presentations and managements  and 2 hours of doing my assignments and 1 hour everyday at least to revise general medicine and general surgery stuffs )

2. SHOP LESS!

god, i really need to shop less. i really need to prioritise my spending. i definitely i didn't need to buy the boxy top from madewell but i bought it anyway and it is not even flattering on me! :'( well, i learnt my lesson the hard way. so this month, after the recent trip to KL, i shall not spend any more money on clothes until next semester.

3. lose weight

again, i weigh 66.5 now. i promised myself that i will be more toned and lean for my cousin's wedding in august since i do not want to embarrass my mom and i do not want to feel inferior compared to other girls. i will make it a point to eat healthily and control my sugar intake. and workout more! i know i can do this i just need to put more effort into it. i need to weigh 65 by the end of may.

4. blog consistently

i realize that when i blog consistently, i feel better emotionally. and i shall post at least 2x/week. 

5. be more fashionable

with all the new clothes i have purchased, i will make it a point to look more presentable. i shall talk about my fashion inspiration in my upcoming blog post.

thank you peeps for bothering to read my nonsense:) it really means a lot to me

xx

how schizophrenic people view the world

as i am just about to embark on my psychiatry posting, i thought it would be interesting to post this video here. 

this video basically shows us how people with schizophrenia view the world. it is unfair for us to be scared of them and i think we need to understand them a bit more just to make the world a better place?

just give it a go. i promise you it will not take long.

thank you :)

p.s : i do not own this video, i found it on youtube and if i am not mistaken, someone from UC Davis created this. :) xx

bad beauty habit

i have one really bad beauty habit....

as a medical student, we are supposed to go to the hospital every morning and the hospital i am attached to..... HAS NO AIR CONDITIONER....

so it is downright humid and hot....

i always wash my hair in the morning before i go to class and after class, i usually take a quick bath again just to freshen up, get some work done or nap for a bit and at 8pm, i will do my daily workout.

and by the time i am done with my workout, my hair will be soaked with all the sweat and dirt i have accumulated through out the day and i will wash it again as i take my third shower for the day.

yes i shower three times a day.

after doing this for quite some time, i noticed that my hair started falling :(

and i panicked.

so i tried looking for gentle shampoo that is not too pricey but can help me with my hair situation.

when luxola had sale on this shampoo, i was telling myself to give it a go.

the shampoo arrived after a week and i immediately tested it.

the verdict?

the smell resembles old spice deodorant with a strong mint smell and it gives your scalp tingling sensation through out. my housemate said the shampoo smells strongly of cinnamon. it does not lather as much as your usual shampoo.

i noticed that my hair has become smoother and easier to manage after two uses.

regarding the hair fall? i have yet to notice a difference but my friends told me that my hair has looked nicer and i am not complaining! :)

will i buy it again?

yes, because i kinda like the smell now even though at first i was put off by it.

and here is the description from the website about this shampoo:

Anti-aging, antioxidant rich, volumizing, and nourishing to the scalp, hair, body and mind. Formulated without sulfates, parabens, silicones, ethoxylates, PEG, phthalates, and synthetic fragrances. Ideal for every hair type, invigorating, while cleansing and purifying the hair and scalp. The result - luxurious, beautiful hair.

WHATSOUP!

this semester, i am determined to save money (hello shopping spree!) and eat healthily!

and unlike last time, i do not want to go to the war unprepared. when i came across this, i thought this was great! soups are filling, hearty and i can make a big batch and eat it for lunch and dinner. soup au pistou caught my attention definitely!

love to hear from you about soup!

xoxo

chain of the past

every time i want to move forward and tell myself i want to be a better person ladidadidum etc, i always find myself filled with disgust.

why you may ask

it is because i am so ashamed of what i did in the past.

i always think ' how could i do this? how could i have done that? what was i thinking? '

like most 20 years old girl with troubled family ( read : drug addict dad and broken family ) , i have issues with confidence, self-love/hate and perfection.

in most people's eyes, i am considered to be a decent girl. i have not had sex ( i , by no means, try to condescend people who have. it is just in my culture, people are still obsessed about this. i am deeply sorry for those who are offended ), am studying in medical school with decent grades ( recently scored the highest in the public health exam ) , do not go out smoking etc etc. in someone's eyes, i pretty much look like a girl next door.

but deep down lies this insecurity where i just need extra love where i can feel secure about myself.

i think that explains why i always get attracted to a new guy and get bored after 2 months and end up hurting myself and the guy.

so this year i told myself i should stop this vicious cycle.

but every time i tell myself, i end up remembering all the stupid things in the past and get sick of myself and want to cry. it is hard to tell yourself it is okay to let go of the past and move on. i am so scared of committing the same crime/mistake. 

i keep reiterating what i need to do to myself yet i find myself being belittled by my own inner voice that blames me, nothing can wash away the impurities.

does anyone out there feel the same?

my week in pictures

giant tortoises at the singapore's national zoo

tanuki or japanese racoon dog. <3

a sweet surprise from a total darling to celebrate my exam's good result

money money caching

i have not written any post in such a long time.

my life has been rather flat. in a good way.

no drama. no fight. 

occasional tears, yes.


however, there is one problem which has been bugging me for quite a while though i never brought it up in this blog.

how does a medical student save money?

my family is not poor by any mean. we are not rich either.

and i, as a girl, have a lot of wants. for the time being i am just dying for a really nice watch to replace my old one which is going kaputt.

any idea on how to save money? i cut off my gym membership which helps me save quite a bit. i do not go out to parties or nice restaurants. i try to eat at home unless for lunch because eating outside is way more convenient. even so, i still eat at random chinese places which offer hearty soup at a wallet-friendly price.

i have been saving but i still think it is not enough.



any idea on how to do this? would love to hear some advices 

cravings

what is wrong with girls and their endless craving for guys' attention?

so many dramas have arisen from this.

my friend happens to be the victim.


she is such a sweetheart with sparks in her eyes.

however many have judged her because of this. including me.


maybe i am writing this as a way to repent my sin. maybe i am not. but i know for a fact that i am writing this to save others from unnecessary dramas in the future.


because this insane craving, she fought with her 2 ex-bestfriends.

she knows what people think of her.


she is doing everything she can to fix her friendship.


but it is all too late now.



 

sunday soundtrack. EARGASM

hotness. eyegasm. eargasm. 

if you guys don't feel the same way, then you guys are nuts.

yes, i am not taking back my words.

the hair. the voice. GOSH! *DROOL*

well. somewhat tie with adam levine.


definitely better than my anatomy lecturer who has perky gluteus maximus. ;)

WELL.DON'T JUDGE. that happens when you are a medical student. TRUE STORY


off to have awesome lunch date with elaine and tracy <3

ciao!

happier? yes..

actually, truth to be told..breaking up with S has made me quite a happier person if i see it from different perspectives. i get to spend more time with these amazing girls, study more, and work out more. i have made progress with my weight as well. now i weigh at 64. i still have a few more kgs to lose though.

medschool girls <3

hungry face!

elaine! my frenchy cherrie! <3

i have more time for myself. yes, the empty feeling after the break up is still there but i believe life has its own ways. sooner or later, both of us, S and i, would wake up and find that life is not that empty anymore. and yes, there will be one day, that we will be with different people. the day shall come. 

now i shall focus on exam

for those of you who are studying medicine as well. we shall make love with netters and grays. and guyton. these amazing guys. we shall immerse ourselves in them. you guys totally know what i mean ( i hope ).

and after exam..

i shall stuff my face with this

Plan B brownies! nyum!

 and go here

Pulau Rawa in Johor

hopefully. if i pass my exams. crossing my fingers tightly.

okay. i had my coffee. time to shower and put my studying cap on. 

ciao loves!

When you can't make lemonade

What happens when life gives you lemon, but you don't like lemonade? 

And after all of it, you try making lemonade, but it's not good enough?

Then you're left out feeling dumb, even though actually you know how to make milkshake...

The thing about being in medical school is, even though people think you are smart and all that, you cannot help but feeling dumb because your peers will always seem to know medical facts that you don't know. And when you see other girls from other courses, they have the time to look good and all that and you're stuck with hoodie, jeans and sneakers because you don't have the time to dress up.

Having a boyfriend also does not help because you end up being distracted from studying. And the fact that he cannot seem to understand that this is what it takes to be a doctor. And the fact that your mom does not like your boyfriend. Plus, do not forget shitty exam result...

Life seems to be so shitty right now and I don't even know what to do. I just want to crawl in my bed and sleep till everything becomes okay.

I hope you guys who read this have a better time than me for the weekends. I'll be having dates with different books. Pharmacology book on saturday and anatomy book on sunday.

<3

 

One Shoe Too Many...NOT! (and some random updates)

Is there such a thing as too many shoes for girls? 


Oh my God... This is so rhetorical... Obviously no!


I have been eye-ing on Michael Kors shoes because his design has the boho/chillaxed vibe to it. It totally suits me! Plus, people have been saying how comfortable his shoes are. I am so going to save money so that I can splurge on Michael Kors shoes!

KORS Michael Kors Jacinda Vintage Calf Wedges in Barley
picture taken from www.polyvore.com

What do you think about this one? I love the tan color, the boho vibe, the stripes, and the lux feeling that you get from it. I can picture a girl wearing dark skinny jeans, black loose tank, aviators, some boho bag, and these shoes! And don't forget some bangles! Hermes bangles would be nice ( check this post ).


And for those of you who are asking why I am blogging because last time I posted a post, I said that I was heavily studying for an exam. Well, the storm has ended! :D I don't know how I did but hopefully I did well. I will tell my result once I know. 


I just had banana+orange smoothie that I finished in 60seconds. Now I am extremely full and sleepy. LOL. So much for yoga. But tomorrow I am either going to work out or do eyebrow threading. My eyebrows look werewolfy! :( But I also need yoga so badly because I just did body pump class yesterday and my body is aching! Oh well, no pain no gain right? My weight has gone down a bit to 66.5-67 :) I am happy about the improvement. The tortoise wins the race, remember? ;)


I have something exciting to tell coming up! I am going to let you guys know about it soon! :))


xoxo

BAD BLOGGER :'(

I AM SUCH A BAD BLOGGER :((((( 

I am sorry for missing for a long timeeeeeee. It's just medschool is damn kraayzziieehh and I have been juggling to balance everything out and I still have yet to figure how to balance things out. :(

And, exam is coming on the 2nd of April and I still have a lot of things waiting to get stuffed into my little brain. 

And I am juggling between eating healthily and working out with my crazy schedule. :(
My sugar craving has gone haywire and the sugar has shown its effects on me. ( HELLO PIMPLES AND ZITS )

Until I have found out how to declutter and organize my life, I am not able to post in an arranged manner :/

Anyway, here I am, at Starbucks with S. He is playing with his new toy ( the brand new iPad HD ) and I am stuck with my lappie and my histology book.

her drink ( tall low fat hot chocolate ) and his drink ( venti caramel java chip )

my 'beloved' histology book

Okay, I am off to study the joints, bones and connective tissue now. Gonna update really soon! And wish me luck for my exam on the 2nd of April! *fingers crossed*

Ciao! See you soon peeps ;)