The best lip balm!

as i was strolling through the aisles of a pharmacy after doing grocery, i was thinking of buying a new lip balm as i just recently lost my burt n bees' lip balm.

and then i came across this and it was not pricey so i decided to give it a go and i am totally loving it!

for those who love flavours, this lip balm is most probably not for you but i like how it delivers moisture without giving that gritty feeling that a lot of lip balms give. it is very smooth and the smell is very soft. i tend to feel nauseous with strong smelling products.

the texture is a mix of lotion and vaseline as you can see from the picture below. and i like to apply my ysl lip tint after using this lip balm and my lips look so full and smooth. love this product so much :)

negative thoughts

relationships are the most confusing thing ever. 

i don't know what to do.

i mean, i really care for this guy but at the same time, i am scared what if it does not work again. what if my family does not like him. i am not brave enough to take chances and risks. 

my mind is constantly full of negative thoughts of us that i cannot tell anyone because:

1. people will think i am a crazy erratic bitch ( which is true up to 80%)
2. people do not understand
3. i am an anxious super girl

haih.

i do not want to be together with him because of these but i still want him to be around.

we have been fighting because whenever i have negative thoughts, i just revert to my own bubble and it annoys him.

and when he is angry, he loses controls of his words and tones.

and i get hurt

and things become sour on the next day.

and the negative thinking kicks in.

it is a vicious cycle

who said relationships are fun is clearly in a relationship with him/herself.

love at first sight

hi lovelies! sorry for the MIA. medschool was busy but today i finally submitted my final assignment. fingers crossed i score well!

so a very pertinent question....



do you guys believe in love at first sight?

so i met this guy through a mutual friend when i went to KL. and he vouched that it was love at first sight for him to me. and i am still shocked at the idea? given that he is 27 years old and i always thought your logic should be slightly more dominant at this age?


he said we share so many similarities and he loves how i am so playful...? i am not trying to be vain here!


i don't want to get heartbroken and repeat the same mistakes over and over again.


so i told him that i am not down for sex since i am keeping it for marriage.

he told me he respects my decision and gave me his ring as a promise that he will never ask for that.


i tried giving the ring back but he was so persistent.


he said he is confident i would be his.


so yesterday he came to visit me in JB and we spent the night drinking and i fell asleep in his hotel room ( no hanky panky business i swear! ) and he said he loves me.


help?


i don't know what to do in this situation.


it sounds too good to be true, no?

how to accept criticism when you least expect it

since i passed my number to this guy, let's call him max, we have been texting ever since. and i kinda like it because it keeps me excited through out the day and he is a chronic texter, just like me.

anyway, last night he accidentally said that one of our mutual friends whom i used to be really close with told him that he actually could not handle my talkativeness. 

after all this time he used to tell me his problems and how he claimed to feel that he clicks with me yada yada yada, he told his friend that he thinks i am talkative.


moments like this are so painful to me because i was trying to be a good friend but apparently i was not.


:'(


i am trying to be a bigger person and telling myself that it is better that i know now and change myself so there will not be anything like this in the future.

but at the same time, it is so hard to accept the truth.

Life in pics + may goals!

i did my third piercing on my right earlobe. hopefully this one will not get infected like the last one *crossing my fingers*

had coffee at acme bar and coffee at troika in KL. it was good and had a great time catching up with danisha :)

on the side note, I AM EXTREMELY BROKE. thanks to all the shopping i did while i was in KL. i spent a lot on food *DUH* and clothing. well, i bought a long dress for my cousin's wedding from karen millen *justifiable purchase in my opinion, especially since it was on sale!* and a boxy top from shopbop.

following the blogs i follow, i think it will be good to share some goals on my blog and revisit them every month. this month i shall:

1. study consistently

i want to really master my psychiatric knowledge since it is very interesting. i will make it a point to study on the weekends ( 2 hours of studying the clinical presentations and managements  and 2 hours of doing my assignments and 1 hour everyday at least to revise general medicine and general surgery stuffs )

2. SHOP LESS!

god, i really need to shop less. i really need to prioritise my spending. i definitely i didn't need to buy the boxy top from madewell but i bought it anyway and it is not even flattering on me! :'( well, i learnt my lesson the hard way. so this month, after the recent trip to KL, i shall not spend any more money on clothes until next semester.

3. lose weight

again, i weigh 66.5 now. i promised myself that i will be more toned and lean for my cousin's wedding in august since i do not want to embarrass my mom and i do not want to feel inferior compared to other girls. i will make it a point to eat healthily and control my sugar intake. and workout more! i know i can do this i just need to put more effort into it. i need to weigh 65 by the end of may.

4. blog consistently

i realize that when i blog consistently, i feel better emotionally. and i shall post at least 2x/week. 

5. be more fashionable

with all the new clothes i have purchased, i will make it a point to look more presentable. i shall talk about my fashion inspiration in my upcoming blog post.

thank you peeps for bothering to read my nonsense:) it really means a lot to me

xx

dating deal breaker

after class with one of my favorite tutors, i did not know how and why, we started talking about dating. knowing that i am not malaysian, she jokingly told me to marry a malaysian so that i can get a housemanship in malaysia.

and i told her my mom actually has some plans up her sleeve to matchmake me this august!

and she was so surprised to hear that and know that i have no problems with that.

i went on to tell her that my biggest dating deal breaker is if my family does not approve my guy.

everyone in my group was so surprised and told me how i am such a good daughter...to my disbelief...

i just really value my family i guess. considering all the hardships that we have gone through and how they are working so hard to pay my tuition fee! and wouldn't it be great if all of my siblings' spouses can hang out with mine and my mother? 

but the thing is, finding someone who satisfies my family is really really tough. i would say it is even tougher than passing medical school. i understand where they are coming from though, they just want their little baby ( read: me) to be happy.

what do you think? what is your greatest dating deal breaker? 

sad wallet, happy girl

because a sad girl can use a new pair of calvin klein shoes that were on major sale (60%!)

i would like to think that my new pair of shoes will help me achieve that trés chic look too :p

the only thing crying now is my wallet.

hair-o everyone!

not trying to brag here, but people always tell me that i have thick luscious mane which i can attribute to my dad. he is 53 and still not balding. and thanks to my mom's gene, i have a very light brown color which is quite unique for someone with chinese genes.

THANK YOU MOM AND DAD!

however.....

i have thick hair everywhere....

including my legs and arms....

and the worst part is....

whenever i shave i get the worst ingrown hair :(

waxing does not help too!


however i am always jealous whenever i see my friends with their hairless legs. this time i am going figure out a way to shave without causing major ingrown hairs and unsightly bumps.


does any of you have any tips and tricks to share?


love and dying to hear from you!

what does your name really mean?

i came across this website from other blogs and surprisingly... it is very true!

here i have copied and pasted my result

Bright, bold and rather authoritarian as well as quick tempered, these two certainly aren´t characterized by their discipline and flexibility... B   and W tend to be high handed and are often brittle, haughty and proud. Extremely confident, they usually have grandiose ambitions - especially since they are sensitive to external signs of wealth. Such tendencies coupled with a determination to succeed, lead them to constantly seek bigger, better and more. They may have difficulty sitting still or doing nothing for any length of time and are usually active and dynamic. And yet the results do not always live up to their efforts, indeed their lives can be quite disorganized and their minds just as messy. These very inquisitive women want to know almost everything, however they can easily flit from one subject to another, not necessarily get to the bottom of things. They like change and are disposed to frequent soul searching, not without certain risks. Even so, this is much preferable to a life of routine and monotony, of which they would quickly tire. They cherish their freedom and are die-hard feminists: women´s liberation is much more than just an idea! At the same time they possess a certain charm and an insatiable zest for life. They are pleasant and likeable, and are partisans of the saying “Enjoy yourself, it is later than you thinkrdquo;.... As children, B and W need stable reference points and a relatively strict upbringing, because they tend to impose their views and desires on others through their capricious behavior, jealousy and possessiveness. It would be wise to impart the value of sharing very early on in life. They would equally benefit from developing their social skills so as to avoid becoming too self-centered. Not particularly conciliatory, they are critical thinking and analytical whilst themselves remaining extremely hypersensitive.

i have to concur with most of the things they have written about me except for the authoritarian part. i do not think i am that controlling....

go check out yours! it is quite fun! :)

bad beauty habit

i have one really bad beauty habit....

as a medical student, we are supposed to go to the hospital every morning and the hospital i am attached to..... HAS NO AIR CONDITIONER....

so it is downright humid and hot....

i always wash my hair in the morning before i go to class and after class, i usually take a quick bath again just to freshen up, get some work done or nap for a bit and at 8pm, i will do my daily workout.

and by the time i am done with my workout, my hair will be soaked with all the sweat and dirt i have accumulated through out the day and i will wash it again as i take my third shower for the day.

yes i shower three times a day.

after doing this for quite some time, i noticed that my hair started falling :(

and i panicked.

so i tried looking for gentle shampoo that is not too pricey but can help me with my hair situation.

when luxola had sale on this shampoo, i was telling myself to give it a go.

the shampoo arrived after a week and i immediately tested it.

the verdict?

the smell resembles old spice deodorant with a strong mint smell and it gives your scalp tingling sensation through out. my housemate said the shampoo smells strongly of cinnamon. it does not lather as much as your usual shampoo.

i noticed that my hair has become smoother and easier to manage after two uses.

regarding the hair fall? i have yet to notice a difference but my friends told me that my hair has looked nicer and i am not complaining! :)

will i buy it again?

yes, because i kinda like the smell now even though at first i was put off by it.

and here is the description from the website about this shampoo:

Anti-aging, antioxidant rich, volumizing, and nourishing to the scalp, hair, body and mind. Formulated without sulfates, parabens, silicones, ethoxylates, PEG, phthalates, and synthetic fragrances. Ideal for every hair type, invigorating, while cleansing and purifying the hair and scalp. The result - luxurious, beautiful hair.

safety net

so my friend, let's call him MA, has been going through a very bad break-up.

i remember when he first introduced me to the girl who would eventually break his heart. it was at a house warming party where he had cooked amazing dishes. then suddenly this girl with a sweet smile arrived and he introduced me to her. 

'hi my name is E'

she looked nice.

MA started telling me all wonderful things about her. and when they got together, i was one of the first few people he announced the great news to. i was thrilled for them. they look cute together.

this was two years ago.

a few weeks ago MA told me how they were on the rocks and she met a personal trainer at the gym and their romantic pictures.


and after a long winding road of arguments and emotional turbulences, my friend decided to give up.


and just when he decided to give up, this girl started texting him sweet things but at the same time still posts pictures of her and the new guy.


my point? 


if you are going to settle for another guy, do not make your ex-boyfriend your safety net. i was guilty of this too. 

i understand that somehow feelings change. for better or worse. but making someone your safety net is not right.

what i am using now

currently loving this perfume.

hermes concentré d'orange verte

i love the fact that it smells so unique and refreshing.

it is a unisex perfume which has orange note ( as the name suggests ) and after a while, it starts to smell musky and woody. in the hospital where it is hot and there are so many funky smells, the last thing you need is another strong smell. this perfume makes me smell good without making me worried that my smell can make others beside me feel dizzy. and how pretty is the green glass bottle?!

have a great weekend!

love love love james bay. love his voice. and his face too ;)

and he has that johnny depp smile, no?

what are you doing this weekend?

i am just going to be a couch potato and snuggle around inside my blanket with my beloved pooh.

here are some links that i found interesting

an interesting view why people are mean

contemplating if i should go ahead and purchase this lovely beauty

who doesn't love a good plate of niçoise salad? especially when there are a lot of anchovies involved! oh, and make sure that the hard boiled egg is not overdone!

and i have to agree with this

ciao :) 

how to survive in your 20s.....NOT

whoever said that being in your 20s is the best part of your life is a big fat liar.

it is confusing.

just when i thought i am starting to get my shit together, society gives us chores, responsibilities and expectations to meet. and all of them come with a deadline - which is NOW.

well, i kinda figured out that all the stupid mini dresses and skirts i bought at h&m were mistakes.

i figured out that looks matters A LOT to guys.

i figured out that lacy underwears are so comfortable.

i figured out that i do not have to look like a hobo to be fashionable and stylish. neither do i have to wear super expensive things. ( but a chanel bag never hurts anyone)

i figured out that i feel lonely but am not lonely most of the time.

i figured out that after all this time i actually do not really like wearing nail polish.

i figured out that smoking weed is not as cool as i thought before.

but

i have not figured out why i am so insecure.

i have not figured out why i always blabber and cannot shut my mouth when i need to.

i have not figured out why i let my mood control the better part of me.

i have not figured out how to stop procrastinating.

i have not figured out how to look effortlessly put together.

i have not figured out how to attract the right guy.

i have not figured out how to not overspend on some organic stuffs while doing grocery.

i wish there is a guide on how to survive in your 20s.

because i need it fucking bad.

the truth about learning

as you all know, i am in my fourth year in medical school. it is crazy, competitive and hectic. i always feel stupid and belittled by the vast amount of knowledge my peer knows way ahead before me. and every time i thought that i was catching up, they seemed to have gone another mile.

sometimes i just cry in my room because i am so overwhelmed. i feel like i am this small girl who is trapped in a 22 years old girl who is figuring out her life and at the same time i am a tortoise which has to catch up with the hare, and unlike in the world wide known fable, the hare we are talking about is anything but lazy.

i just want to be able to absorb things like a sponge.

learn things and make sure that they stay in my head.

and then i come across this piece of advice albert einstein has written for his son..

“That is the way to learn the most, that when you are doing something with such enjoyment that you don’t notice that the time passes.”

this quote really opened my eyes.

for those of you who are facing the same difficulty, i hope this can help.

ciao

xoxo

bad boy, bad move

so i had a date with the aforementioned guy. and the guy is a total womanizer. how do i know? because we used to hang out and he would tell me and my friends about his latest 'fun'. 

so we met up last wednesday for a couple of drinks ( or more ) and were simply catching up with each other lives. he told me how work is tiring for him and his mom is always nagging him. oh, and sorry i forgot to tell you that he is 29 years old. no, this was not a date.

as a bad boy as he is, he told me he wanted to come to my place to chill and smoke a baby joint. and i said okay but i would not smoke cos i am just not into it but i did not mind him coming over as he had done it in the past.

so... as he smoked in my balcony, i was just standing next to him... the next thing i knew, he put his arms around my shoulder and kissed me. and for God's sake i knew he was just playing around, being an opportunist and trying his luck. i knew what kind of guy he is exactly. yet i still fell for it. luckily not as hard as how i usually fall for this kinda guys.

we went for another date 3 days after and the same thing happened ( i would not bore you guys with details ) and this was the conversation that took place....

me   : i know you are just playing around and i do not intend to get hurt.
boy  : no no i am not playing around
me   : then why didn't you call me?
boy  : cos i am just right around the corner. listen, i will call you when i am in KL. i will come back next month.
me   : how do you know that i am not playing around?
boy  : because you are too nice.


so... it has been 3 days since he said that and still no call or text. and i just cannot be bothered:)

it feels good. i just do not care. i am disappointed at what i did but at the same time i think i made progress by moving on and not caring about him.


i just do not understand why we always fall for the ones that always make us cry and hurt us? always fall for the wrong ones? i am lucky enough to have my eyes open wide since the very beginning but i know there are other girls out there who are still in this vicious cycle.

my new babies!

so i bought these babies from shopbop. the brand is sol sana, which is an australian brand.

they are very comfortable and i like how the alligator skin part makes it look unique. and the black color means it is very easy to mix and match. 

but honestly they look nicer in pics than real life. maybe it is because of my chunky ankles. but yeah, i feel they are slightly overpriced.

still i love them and i was at desperate need of new everyday sandals. i can wear them to uni and for casual outings. i wore them on my date the other day and they were comfortable.

i wore them with dark straight cut jeans and long sleeves tee in white and my black handbag. and my date said i looked good :) 

have a great weekend!

hi lovelies! what did you guys do during the weekend? i went to a date with this guy to watch the Kingsman. it was a brilliant movie and i love every single of it.
he kissed my forehead when we watched movie but i doubt anything will happen further as we both have massive obligations and works that prevent us from having a relationship. still, i had a great night :)

here are some links to cheer up your weekend or maybe your monday since i am late :p

how to make the perfect pb&j sammies

the product that has made my skin look better than ever!

for fellow avocado lovers out there! i tried the one with feta and it was heavenly!

mine was not sleeping but dating but this vid still gave me great insight towards my problem! thanks lena!

and this pasta looks heavenly! dying to try it!

xoxo

my current favourite workout

i was in the middle of workout rut so i had not been working out. but this morning i decided that enough is enough! i was looking for some workout videos that do not scream TESTOSTERONE ( if you guys know what i mean ) yet still deliver the needed kick to my butt. AND I CAME ACROSS THIS VIDEO!

through out the video, the movements keep on changing ( so it was not boring ) and it makes sure that both your upper and lower limbs move vigorously. And towards the end, they have this lateral hops movements and my outer thighs are already feeling it.

really suggesting this video to those who wanna change up their workout routine.

life in pictures, again :)

my sister bought this from YSL and when she reached home, she did not quite like how the bright color look on her. I have to agree that this color can look a bit 'California barbie' which is not my style too however the key is just to put 2-3 tiny dots on your lips and you will get a natural looking pink color on your lips. the color stays put and it does not make me self conscious because i know i do not look weird or fake.

i love the convenience of online shopping and a few months ago, i came across by invite only, a singapore based online store that sells handmade jewellery.

this store is really worth checking out for. their stuffs are really unique.

this is the motto i have been trying to implement since the beginning of this year and so far, i can say i have been doing quite well. :)