musing on my current life

i have this tendency to map and plan and route my life. and the fact that many aspects of my life have not quite turned out the way i had planned it can turn my mood from the sunnies day in the rainforest in the equator to a snow blizzard in the north pole. and when this happens i always end up crying myself to sleep.


is this a form of self pity? 

and i like sleeping so much because i can run away from reality and pretend that i am living my perfect life in my small head. and no one has to know.



this eats me up inside.

why?

because after i wake up, it hits me even harder that my life sucks.

it is a vicious cycle. and i don't know how to solve it other than running away from it.

my week in pictures

giant tortoises at the singapore's national zoo

tanuki or japanese racoon dog. <3

a sweet surprise from a total darling to celebrate my exam's good result

pillars in the monkey's head nebula

Hubble's telescope. One of the proudest things NASA has ever created. 

i just have to concur. 

oui paris!

another girl crush. rachel khoo. her accent. her bubbly voice. those red lips

i like the way she makes the chicken dumplings, especially when she poured the cream without any hesitance. cream makes everything tastes better. so does better ;)

my weekend was gloomy because of an assignment in which i have to appraise the harm and calculate the relative risk of a drug. however this video amidst a break i took and a cup of hot green tea cheered my gloomy weekend up :)


and i am a sucker for anything french, really

xx

ashley graham. one of my current girl crushes.

pretty. humble. real. and THAT KILLER BODY!

need i say more?

money money caching

i have not written any post in such a long time.

my life has been rather flat. in a good way.

no drama. no fight. 

occasional tears, yes.


however, there is one problem which has been bugging me for quite a while though i never brought it up in this blog.

how does a medical student save money?

my family is not poor by any mean. we are not rich either.

and i, as a girl, have a lot of wants. for the time being i am just dying for a really nice watch to replace my old one which is going kaputt.

any idea on how to save money? i cut off my gym membership which helps me save quite a bit. i do not go out to parties or nice restaurants. i try to eat at home unless for lunch because eating outside is way more convenient. even so, i still eat at random chinese places which offer hearty soup at a wallet-friendly price.

i have been saving but i still think it is not enough.



any idea on how to do this? would love to hear some advices 

sunday soundtrack

listening to this while sipping a cup of hot milo and doing my assignment evidence based medicine.

i am addicted to your chocolate high

went to see him through out the weekend. 

ended up making out even though we are just "friends" now.

cried because i know i will never fully have him to myself again.

he said i can still have his attention.

i know it will not happen.


i hope your sunday is more beautiful than mine

xoxo

pink roses

 

an empty glass bottle filled with water and two roses that i cut from my potted plant.

cos every sad girl can use some flowers to cheer up her day. 

sunday's soundtrack

there are always those people who have claimed a certain amount of love you have. 

and as this song says, i just cannot take my eyes off him.

we are still talking. in good terms. promised that we would be friends although we both know that will be a lie, sooner or later.

however, i wanna dip myself in that sea of lies. 

cos in that sea, the heat of the sun will not reach me.