before i left home to continue my studies, i had a DNM ( Deep N' Meaningful ) conversation with my mom.
i used to fight a lot with my mom but as i grew older, i realised how similar we are and i have mistaken her love for something else.
she is one of the few people who know me really well.
when you were a fat kid, you will still carry that little bit of insecurity deep down inside of you. you try so hard to hide it with toughness or i don't care attitude. many people thought i am just a person who is truly independent and tough. but my mom sees beneath it all.
she knows how insecure i am about my looks and my characters. how i always feel insecure whenever people compare me with my feminine sister. how i always feel little compared to all my friends who are already working and have boyfriends and seem to have their lives figured out.
" you know, do not think about having a boyfriend now. the path ahead of you is still long. many things are bound to happen to you, and also your friends. your friends might seem to have a better life than you now but it does not mean that you will not have one too. oh, and just aspire to be a better version of yourself too, i believe a smart girl like you will get an amazing guy in the end. just open your eyes wide and do not fall for their tricks "
thank you mom. thank you for your words of encouragement.