give me a freaking job already

Here I am sitting by myself in a coffee shop at Hilton Hotel in Sydney CBD writing this blog post.

Well, so a lot of things have been happening in the past few months. Let's recap what have been happening in my life.

1. I went through a general medicine/aged care rotation and breast surgery at Monash Health hospital and they were amazing. Learned a lot and realised how much I have to improve to be a competent intern.

2. I applied for jobs in 2017 and hopefully I will get one. Really hoping that I will either get one in Melbourne or Darwin.

3. I got a really bizarre but somewhat good e-mail from one of the hospitals which essentially says that because I am not Australian, I was not shortlisted for the interview however they are happy to include me into the PMCV internship matching thingy that is happening in a week or so. So if I do get a job, I will be hearing from them in a month or so. CROSSING MY FINGERS.

4. Right now I am in my last week of my elective rotation at Nepean Hospital and loving neurology because I have an awesome team! Not to mention, my resident is such an eye candy and I just love staring at his beautiful face.

5. J has moved on and got a new girlfriend. So happy about this. I am honestly ceebs about him and how stupid I am to have made so many stupid decisions in the past. Not going to settle for futureless guy ever again.

Kinda seeing T, this ABC guy from Melbourne, but honestly, if things do not work out, I cannot be arsed to do anything or to cry about it. It is just too much effort and stuffs. I am more bothered about getting an internship or job or figuring out how my future is going to turn out to be honest. I am so sick of not being able to stand on my own two feet. I know I need to hakuna my tatas but do you know that feeling that you are just so ready to earn your own moolah and you want to be independent and start giving back to the people who have given up so much for you. Basically that is what I feel and honestly I feel I am not bad at all. I am quite hardworking and keen to learn.

I am just tired of feeling like crap all the time and i just want to get a job now. Hopefully I do get a job. Otherwise I might as well kill myself. LOL.