so good yet so wrong, sorta.

writing this while eating nasi lemak. the ultimate comfort food. so fattening yet so good. it is the same thing sex. its so sinful yet so good. i know many would beg to differ with me on this. 

so last night i decided to spend the night at Sh's place. and things got a bit frenchy. it felt good. and bad. like really bad. at the same time. i just hate the guilt trip that i get after the endorphin rush. i feel like i just committed major sin after doing you know what i am talking about. 


my friends call me weird for feeling like this constantly. i am sorry. i just cannot help it. i believe whatever you do, you are held responsible for it. every single action has its own consequences. i am not ready for the consequences. and definitely not ready for the emotional roller coasters. emotional attachments. stupid hormonal problems. you name it.


guys would say that it is not a relationship without intimacy. guess what? you can get intimacy from other activities as well. i do not want sexual intimacy. i want heart to heart intimacy, knowing the person inside out. baring your soul to your partner. 


call me a sappy bitch. but this is what i believe in. 

nevertheless, i love you sh :)