i have this tendency to map and plan and route my life. and the fact that many aspects of my life have not quite turned out the way i had planned it can turn my mood from the sunnies day in the rainforest in the equator to a snow blizzard in the north pole. and when this happens i always end up crying myself to sleep.
is this a form of self pity?
and i like sleeping so much because i can run away from reality and pretend that i am living my perfect life in my small head. and no one has to know.
this eats me up inside.
because after i wake up, it hits me even harder that my life sucks.
it is a vicious cycle. and i don't know how to solve it other than running away from it.