blue plastic tupperware mug/cup

wake up. weigh myself. open the fridge. pour cold skim milk into the mug. 

this is one of those days when life seems to lose its charm. its been a couple of days really. the days don't entice me anymore. its like a routine. how i always pour cold skim milk into my plastic blue mug mom bought from tupperware.

i woke up this morning to a bad dream. i dreamt about one of our too many fights. it was about me reminding you to study. and you snapped at me. you said you don't like it when i remind you. cos you know you have to do it and you are going to do it. i don't know if you are still reading this. but whatever we had still wounds me deeply. my thought of you never fails to belittle me. 

i am a bitter person. nothing will ever change it. i might seem to be an extrovert. but it is just a poker face that i put. i don't want people to see my inner bitter side and take advantage of it. being bitter is like a thick comforter that i wrap myself around in during winter. it is safe. i don't have to bear with optimism and the disappointment that follows. 

i wish someone can hug me. tell me this is just a dream. i do not need a constant reminder that i am not mature. i am not good enough. i will never be good enough. 

if you have someone you cherish, please tell them why you love them and how awesome they are. before it is too late. a little bit of love never hurts. too much of love will kill you though. 

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